This time exactly one year ago, Paul and I had both lost our jobs at the church we were working at in North Carolina due to the closing of the church. We didn't have enough money to stay afloat there as we were in debt simply with daily expenditures, insurance, groceries, etc. We had no clue that our living expenses for a month would add up to more than three times our rent. Oh what we would have done differently with some foresight!
Neither of us had ever had any credit card debt and in 7 months we owed $4,600 on our Visa. We now had no jobs and no way to pay our rent.
This time exactly on year ago, Paul and I moved into my parent's basement. I have always been smart with money and felt such despair. I was certainly down and out and definitely depressed. I cared much more about our debt than I did anything else and I let that get in between my hope in God to deliver us from our mess.
This time eleven and a half months ago I found a part-time job calling people while they were at home, asking them to donate to a specific charitable foundation and getting hung up on. Though I never thought of myself as a prideful person, this job knocked me down a few notches.
This time eleven months ago Paul found a part-time job at Hotel Bethlehem working overnight. The hours weren't ordeal, but they were hours. With two part time jobs there was no way we could even make a dent in our credit card debt. My concern for our debt had taken the place of my concern for what God was doing in my heart.
This time eight and a half months ago I was fired from my part-time job. I was relieved because it was a stressful job and I was only let go because I couldn't meet my donation quota as some people just didn't have money to give.
Eight months ago I got another part-time job cleaning homes and business. Cleaning toilets for $8/hr. I went to a four-year private college and had a few classes toward my master's degree completed and I would be cleaning peoples' doo-doo. For $8/hour! I had never felt so low in my life. Was everything for nothing?
I desperately desire a ministry job but in the process, God taught me a few things about myself that needed to be cleared out. A sense of entitlement is one. I felt that because of my accomplishments I am entitled to a ministry position with a salary and benefits. My resume showed (in my mind) that I was entitled to any position I would ever apply for. However, after applying to fifty secular jobs and several ministry jobs, it's funny that the only person who ever even responded to me was for this cleaning job.
God is the one who provides. Not my accomplishments. My pride in my accomplishments and the idea that I have formed that I can provide for myself because of what I have done needed to be obliterated. My pride may not be gone but God is doing a marvelous work in my heart.
Seven and a half months ago I got a $1/hr raise that I didn't ask for. Five and a half months ago I got another $1/hr raise that I didn't ask for. Five months ago my amount of hours for work began to pickup.
Four months ago I was handed $1,000 cash to pay off the remainder of my credit card. Three months ago a family member informed us that they would need us to stay in their home while it was empty for an entire year. For free with utilities paid.
A month and a half ago Paul got a full-time job with benefits doing what he loves - cooking. A month ago I was given $1/hr raise that I didn't ask for. Several days ago I paid $1000 off on my car and was told to forget about the remaining $1500. We now have a nice chunk of change in our savings that we never would have expected.
Twelve months ago I had no hope and was depressed. Today I have proof that God provides and my heart has been changed. I am entitled to nothing and if God would ask me, I would give away my bank account. For those of you who are wondering where God is because of your financial situation this year, maybe God is in the process and this time twelve months from now you'll be cleaning toilets with a nice chunk of change in your bank account and, more importantly, a changed heart.
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