I've always taken time to express my thankfulness to God for the good things in life. I find myself thanking Him for my arms and legs some mornings, my paycheck on other days, that I have a car, for good friends, and of course for His love and sacrifice for me. The good days are always so wonderful, but I've found that it's so much more gratifying to love Him through my struggles than when everything is going right.
I recently wrote a song entitled, "I Don't Believe Today," which sounds fairly cynical at first. Actually, it's pretty cynical throughout the entire song except the bridge and pivotting point of the song. Easy lyrics: "I'm sorry I don't believe today, but You reign even in my pain. I'm sorry I don't believe today but if I wake up tomorrow and everything's just the same, You're still the name above all names." This simple truth has helped me make it through and persevere and actually enjoy the hard times.
What about God's faithfulness to deliver us in times of trouble, though? I most definitely trust in God's deliverance, but I can't wait for Him to save me from every pain, heartache, flat tire, and so on, in order to praise Him and enjoy Him though my world falls around me. On a good day, I can jump up and down, dance down the sidewalk, and smile at everyone I pass. On a bad day, I can get on my knees and cry and feel His love infiltrate the cracks in and brokenness of my heart. On a good day, things are good. On a bad day, I have the pleasure of knowing that He stands with me and doesn't just desire for me to pass a fake smile on to Him. There's so much joy in being down and having the One who has it all sit with you in the trenches rather than staying only with those who sing lofty praises to Him.
So now I see that life becomes a race of perseverance. There will be times of sufferening that I cannot comprehend nor understand God's plans and purposes that He "...is not obligated to reveal to us." I'd love to be loved by Him during my darkest nights and I long for the day that will last forever - where all our tears will be whiped from our eyes and there will be no darkness. But until then...
Be blessed,
Nicole
Until the world's not worthy. - Hebrews 11
